One of those Strange New York Stories

I was walking slowly up the Morningside Park steps recently—it's a notoriously greuling climb, especially for black-lunged smokers like me—when I came upon an unmolested coconut sitting exactly in the middle of one of the steps. A fat, crazy-eyed bum was standing next to it, just staring at it. "I hope that ain't no bomb," he said as I passed, flashing me a gap-toothed grin. "Yeah, I hope not," I said.

Then I got the hell out of there.